Don't you just hate it when you just miss a goal time? I felt like chucking the biggest girly tantrum this morning, when I half killed myself around the assault course, only to cross the line in 6:01. 6.01 !!!
*Hannah jumps up and down and stamp feet repeatedly in disgust*
(don't mind me, I'll just have the tantrum here instead ;)
Now all I can think is, what if I'd just pushed a little bit harder in that sprint? What if I'd done those push ups a bit faster? I almost, almost burst into tears right there and then.
My mood wasn't really helped by the continuous run we did afterwards either, where the other people in my group kicked my butt - even the girl who declared she wasn't very good at running. Dammit, Dammit, Dammit! I came away feeling very, very unmotivated about the fitness test on friday, generally feeling fat, unfit and crap at the whole shebang.
I know it's all in my head and everything, but I do have a bit of a competitive streak (I think I get it from my father - he was a racing driver) and it really shits me that I've done almost a year of work learning to run and I'm still slow as all hell and I can't even keep up with people who never run. *sighs*
Anyway. A huge overreaction no doubt but there you are. I need to stew on it for a bit and I'm sure I'll be right.
Dammit!
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8 comments:
We've all been there! I once swore that, after doing a 1:50 half, I would never ever ever do worse than 2:00, and my next half was 2:00:01. How wrong is that?
Meanwhile, that other girl was probably just making excuses before she started, because she was scared to fail. Scared to fail means scared to achieve.
I trained incredibly hard for running and didn't get much faster until I stopped worrying about what everyone else was doing. No matter how hard I train, I will never beat Tesso unless she starts half an hour late and then takes a wrong turn. Then again, it's highly unlikely that Tesso is ever going to catch Paula Radcliffe in a race.
You know all this already, but just remember that the competition is in your head, and you're winning.
PS Great idea to have a blog-tantrum!
Chill, girl... you just got a PB! Congratulations. :-)
I'm totally with you there.. train hard and people who don't appear to do anything much still beat you. But, you have achieved a lot and that's what you need to focus on... let's see now.. well a week ago your time for the assault course was 6.17.. today it was 6.01.. that's great.. so you missed your goal by one lousy, second.. maybe that second is the time it took you to start and stop your watch.. maybe you actually did 5.59 ;)
As you said yourself, this is a target you set yourself and it's all in your head... you improved big time on this course and I'm always really impressed with the way that you keep at it and put so much effort in so I'm sure you did your absolute best . You can't ask more of yourself than that can you? Think of what you would say to a friend who told you how they missed their goal by a second.. now say it to yourself.. and it has to be nice!
No more stamping now.. don't want to injure anything!
Hannah, knowing you, you would have given it your very, very, absolute best shot and on the day that was 6.01. Tomorrow it might have been 5.59 or 6.02. Be as kind to yourself as you would be to us if we made that time.
Hannah, remember what you've written in your profile: "Found my love of all things endorphin related two years ago while losing weight." Enjoy your running and better times will come. I think we all have a little competitive streak but don't let that stop you from enjoying just being able to run. Hope that helps.
Hannah, although you feel like chucking a tanty the way you tell the story does make me laugh! Its funny, when we miss a goal by a second or two we beat ourselves up more than if we miss it by half a minute. Why is that?
I bet most of those people who passed you on the continuous run afterwards didn't bust a gut like you did in the assault course.
And re what Tanky said about never beating me, I bet her and anyone else a little grand piano filled with chocolate mousse that she does very very soon.
Well Tesso, I'm not going to take you up on that - then I'd be torn between a desire to beat you and a desire to eat a yummy chocky grand piano!
:) ehhh, time is only an abitary man-made invention anyway. Go and whinge to whoever decided on defining minutes and seconds as we use them. You are getting better! That's the main thing.
Brings me back to my shitty canberra marathon, running toward the finish, I see the clock, it reads 4:59:xx and I sprint my little heart out but alas the hour ticked over to 5, 20 seconds before I ran under it. Ehhh, I did a lazy run and probably deserved it.
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