Well, I really should've known today's race wasn't going to go to plan when I (once again!) managed to turn my alarm clock off in my sleep - despite the fact that I put it on the other side of the room for that exact reason!
Luckily, my brain decided to wake me up at 5.30am, at which point I leapt ten foot skyward, dressed extrodinarily quickly and was at the race with 15 minutes to spare before the gun went off. Plenty of time *L* I actually hate it when things like that happen - I like to have a little bit of time to make sure I've got everything and get in the right head space, so it threw me a little bit.
Started bumping into familiar faces pretty quickly, and felt incredibly nervous. Found MJ and Chelle who were both pacing - 2:00 and 2:10. Everyone was so lovely and about eight million people wished me luck for sub 2. We started all of a sudden, no gun (at least, I didn't hear it if there was!). The first couple of km's were immensely overcrowded - tried to hang with the 1:55 pacers but kept getting stuck behind slower runners and had to sprint clear stretches to stay in the same ballpark.
Strangely, I felt very good in the first 3km, whereas usually I feel awful. Bit of an omen no doubt, since everything basically went downhill from there. We went over the Goodwill Bridge, down to the regatta, back up, around the gardens once, before coming back over the bridge, down to the West End, to home. By the time I hit 9km I felt absolutely shocking. It was really humid and I walked through several drink stops.
Worse than that though, was the mind games I had going on with myself. Feeling that bad, that early really, really messed with my head and I found myself wondering how on earth I ever thought I would be able to run the GCM if I felt that bad on a half, which I've been running (and then some!) practically every weekend for the last three months. I even found myself thinking, well, maybe I'm just not built to be able to run quicker than this... *shudders* it's such a defeatist way to think about it, I can't bear it - but on the run it all seems so logical!
I watched the 1:55 pacers disappear into the distance, then despite giving me loads of encouragement, lovely Chelle also slid by. That was the point at which I realised I'd really, really buggered it. I guess part of the mara training has been about maintaining a slow pace for a long time, so once I'd dropped back to that, I felt somewhat reasonable again and had no worries with keeping running - it's just not a fast enough pace for sub 2.
Saw the CR cheersquad, who were doing a fab job out at the West End! It helps soooo much to have that sort of encouragement and even though I felt so awful, hearing everyone barracking for me put a massive smile on my face.
Came through the line and saw the clock, which read something like 2:34 (not entirely sure on this - will have to check my time once they're up) and had a complete meltdown, forgetting that 30 minutes of that was the marathon timing. So for about five minutes I thought I'd run my slowest half ever *L* Sooooo not a good feeling.
At which point, Miners came over to say hello and found me absolutely bawling my eyes out. *L* The lovely man gave me a giant hug, despite me being all sweaty, snotty and disgusting (he hadn't done his 10km yet so was all clean and fresh!) and I got control of my drama queen self. I just get so emotionally invested in my running - I'm not sure it's an entirely healthy approach really, but if you're training hard, there's just no way around it, as far as I can see!
Chelle came over and enlightened me about the extra 30 minutes and I felt slightly better and then I started finding out heaps of people had had bad runs. The humidity perhaps, or maybe even just the course being so familiar to a lot of us. I'm not sure. Saw Phil after the run and he gave me a hug too, bless him. He's such a star - I feel really lucky to have someone like that coaching me. He always knows just what to say.
After the random draws, I headed up to the Ship Inn and grabbed some food with Mark (IlikeToast) Katy (Ihatetoast) Tess, Cato and Julia Thorn. Gossiped about Warwick and the run and everything inbetween. Then I came home and am contemplating a snooze.
I'm not feeling as upset about missing sub 2 as I was - I'm still incredibly, incredibly frustrated because I know I'm capable of it. I know I can do it - I'm training my arse off and it just seems soooo unfair that I couldn't pull it off today. It means I'll be trying for sub 2 at Doomben/Warwick Half instead. Hopefully the weather will be kinder and I'll have a better day at the office! I suppose in the long term, the goal is the GCM not a half, so I have to bear that in mind, but it would be soooo nice to be able to crack this goal, this sub 2 thing that I've been trying to do for a year!
Although Phil reckons I just had a bad day, today really did spur me on to try to step up my training a bit - so I'm going to vamp up my weekly plan a bit and try and fit in another run, some more cardio and another weights session each week. It means I'll be training twice a day most days, but I think that as long as I make sure I take my rest day I should cope. However slow I may be, I think my endurance has improved enough to cope with it! I'm also going to try and boost my efforts to drop some more weight (not that I'm not ever not trying, really!)
So listen here, Running Gods - shove me and I'll shove back harder!
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9 comments:
Hannah dont be too harsh on yourself, you are sooooo close to doing it.
Your fitness and training is great, I dont think that this is the barrier. By no means am I trying to offend you, but I think it is a mental thing. Like you said you think too much during your run, play mind games with yourself and talk yourself out of it.
I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it. You are capable of running a quicker time now, running is as much a mental sport as it is physical, those who deal with the tough situations better are the ones who achieve the results first.
A one on one pacer is ideal to get you to achieve your goal. By this I mean another runner that will pace and push you through the race. It is more personal and all the pacers attention is on you, they do all the thinking in the race all you do is enjoy the run. Once you have achieved this you know what to do and expect which will make it much easier next time around.
Sorry for the long post, also just to cheer you up I compiled the times for the Defence Force runners, the Half was started 31 minutes after the Marathon so you can subtract another minute :)
"I know I'm capable of it"
I think this says it all. You are capable of it totally I'm sure, the course today was a bit narrow in places and hard to get a good grip on getting in to a good rhythm for the first couple of km's, then it became really hot and humid, then it became narrow again and so on... Not every race can be a pb, but you seem to have the right 'onwards and upwards attitude' and I have NO doubt that you're not too far away from smashing that two hour barrier :)
Hannah, don't be so tough on yourself, mate.
Don't compare today's result with what you hope to achieve at GCM because a) every race is different and b) maybe you're just really, really better at longer distances.
You have achieved so much in the last few years it's amazing, so keep on plugging on baby. Your time is still to come!!!!!!!!!
Hannah, A wise trainer once told me " Overtrain and overdrain does not make a very good athlete". Talk with Phil. You will be breaking that 2 hours before long.
TA
I know what you mean about getting so emotionally involved in your races. Maybe that is part of the problem as Shane says. You've definitely been working hard and training well so it will come in time. I think TA's suggest of talking to Phil is a good one.. don't kill yourself.. plenty more races to come.
What everybody else said :-)
Hannah, I thought you had a pretty good run. You only tapered for two days, most others I know who did the half tapered for two weeks. And they also were a few minutes slower than they hoped. In fact I only spoke to a couple of people who ran what they wanted to run.
I agree with TA, talk with Phil before making any major changes to your training.
See you out there again soon.
Sorry Hannah. You'll do it soon though.
Ask Phil about changes - don't do stuff yourself.
Your taper was too short. This is my favourite article on the subject.
oh no - you were snotty???
I'm so glad that you're thinking more positively about the race now Hannah - each one is a learning experience, and as you've noted from the other race reports, it was a tough day out there.
Listen to the above advice, and get set for the next goal races. Much more fun to be had ;)
Chin up, there will always be downs otherwise we wouldn't be able to appreciate the ups eh?
R2B
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