All change...

Forgive me, running gods - it has been some days since my last confession.

No change with my foot. I've been running very little. Toyed with the idea of running at the Queensland Half, but an attempt at running 10km the wednesday prior put rest to that idea. I got 5km in and then the pain in my foot kicked back in and I ended up walking the rest of the way home. Instead, I helped out by doing rego and then giving out bling and towels to the finishers. Nice to see familiar faces, even if it was a bit hard not to be out there.

I stopped taking the voltaren about a week ago, as my kidneys and back started to hurt. The minute I came off it, the foot problems started back up. Although, I think it's not quite as bad. Hard to tell if that's my wishful thinking!

Running on wednesday night was interesting. The heavy rain meant that no other beginners showed up and consequently, I almost escaped without a run. Ended up being shoved out of the door with Uncle Phil and Kylie and ran a few kms. They slowed down for me, but it was still pretty fast for me. Gone are the days when I could just about keep up when they did slow down!

Eventually, Uncle Phil, Kylie and Mattie dropped off the back with me. I hate other people having to do that for me, but I needed a break, so we walked a way. I'd done a PT session in the morning, so I suppose that didn't help matters, either!

I've been working really, really hard lately both at work and on another exhibition that I have coming up next month. Consequently, I'm a bit run down and have caught a nasty bug from somewhere that is making me feel like death warmed up.

I'm getting so sick of hearing myself whinge, I can't imagine how bloody irritating it must be to have to listen to me lately! LOL! As Uncle Phil reminded me on wednesday, there are worse things in life to deal with than a sore foot and I will eventually get my fitness back and run without pain again.

I've also started getting help working on some of the issues that tie into my problems with food and depression. It's not a very pleasant process - reopening old wounds, and facing some nasty stuff, but if it means that I can come out of the other side of all this feeling stronger, fitter, healthier and happier, then it's got to be worth it in the end.

Everything seems to be in a state of change lately - my personal trainer has increased his fees way beyond my budget, so I've got three more sessions left before I give that up. I feel a bit sad about that, too - I've been training with him for over three years and he's helped me a lot. That said, it's probably also a good thing for me, too. I've rejoined the gym so I'm not going to stop exercising or anything, but I really need to just take some time to sort myself out.

Having this bloody foot problem has definitely taught me about humility and not to take fitness or exercise or running for granted. I'd forgotten how much of an achievement it is to even be able to run 5km - 5km currently feels like 30km used to. I'm still undecided as to whether to go ahead with an MRI but I probably will.

At the moment, I feel a bit like I've fallen apart and am currently trying to put myself back together. The good thing about that I suppose, is that as I remake myself, I can be better than I was before.

Anyway, enough of a heartfelt entry from me and back to your regular viewing. Speaking of which, Shane, where is your blog now? I keep meaning to catch up and leave you comments, but I can't find it!