Monday, June 15, 2009

Week One

I'm home and it's monday... I was discharged from the private hospital, had a really rough weekend and spent most of it in the public hospital, but I'm home now and contemplating what to do in terms of exercise for the week. I think I will start with walking... I don't think I need to buy new shoes just yet, since the pair I have were quite new when I stopped running.

Today, I am resting, but tomorrow I will spring into some sort of physical action...

So, rough plan for the week:

Tuesday:
Walk 30 minutes, stretch

Wednesday:
Walk 35 minutes, stretch

Thursday:
Walk 40 minutes, stretch

Friday:

Walk 45 minutes, stretch

Saturday:
Walk 50 minutes, stretch

Sunday:
Walk 60 minutes, stretch

I'd like to be walking for an hour by the end of the week. Then I will probably follow it with another week of just walking for an hour and trying to stretch some life back into my muscles. Yea Gads. It is certainly going to take a long time to get back to the lolloping along of olde. I foresee PAIN and SUFFERING. But it's my fault for doing NOOOO exercise for years.

I heard that the Run Inn is starting a new walk/run group after the GCM, so hopefully I will be able to cope with that by next month.... maybe I can convince my best friend Em to come along with me, though she can run anyway, now. Lucky thing.

Does anyone know if everyone still meets at the Regatta of a saturday morning at 6.30am or so for long runs? I am thinking about coming along but just walking. Then having coffee afterwards or something. Must email Tracey, Sam, Jill and Ronnie and see what they're doing these days.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Hallo :)

So, I just posted a reintroduction on CR and now I am back blogging, too.

I'm currently still in hospital after a week, but am due to be discharged on saturday. I think I have finally decided that running is a healthier obsession than some of my other problematic sorts, so I am going to make a concerted effort to at least get back to doing SOME exercise.

One of my major hurdles is going to be facing people wearing a singlet.

Why?

Firstly, because I have put on so much weight (I got back up to 120kg, now back down to about 98kg - when people knew me as a 'runner' I hovered between 79-85kg). So I have a fair way to go with that. Not to mention that I have the added problem of an eating disorder, which makes weight loss particularly triggering.

Secondly, (and this is infinitely more difficult to talk about) since I have been sick, I've had a very major battle on my hands with self harm. When I say self harm, I specifically mean that I have damaged and disfigured my own body. It means that my arms, shoulders and wrists are now literally covered in very big, very obvious scars. I do look rather like a patchwork quilt.

Self harm is a scary, scary thing, horribly difficult to conquer and seems abhorrent to so many people - it's shocking to see the results on another person and I can understand that - but it's really hard to face the question 'what happened to your arms?' all the time when you're trying to move on with your life. I'm sick of telling people I got mauled by a tiger ;)

So anyway. I have a few biiiigggg problems to tackle in my attempt at coming back to running. I have nooo fitness whatsoever. None. I have to motivate myself to start the horrific initial stage of walk-run-walk-run-collapse-crawl-and-repeat that I remember all too well from the first time I learnt to run. I know it's worth it in the end, but it's going to be even less fun with an extra 20kgs on me!

I hope you're all well (if anyone is still reading this, of course!)

I shall report back next week, with a plan and some small goals.

Ciao!